A Sirius Annoyance
by aiden.c
Summary: Fresh from a holiday overseas, Sirius unintentionally drives James and Lily together through the power of intense irritation. Oneshot.


_(To clear up confusion, this is from James' point of view. Also, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, HARRY!)_

The people of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry were the victims of many vexations. From Peeves to the untimely movement of temperamental staircases, they familiarized themselves with constant annoyance. And yet, nothing they'd experienced could compare with the taxing Sirius, fresh from a holiday overseas.

He'd accompanied Remus on an expedition to Portland Headlight, the most photographed lighthouse in the world, located in Cape Elizabeth, Maine. Remus intended to use his newly acquired knowledge on the lighthouse for a Muggle Studies project and had taken Sirius as a companion, which turned out to be a huge mistake. Upon becoming acquainted with the folk from Down East, he'd picked up on their unique dialect and took it upon himself to exaggerate it. So, in addition to half a suitcase of lobster-shaped souvenirs, he brought back a warped Mainer accent.

This led to a certain James Potter, camped out in the Gryffindor common room, because sharing a dormitory with a self-proclaimed "Mainah" proved to be too annoying to cope with. Curled up on the couch across from the fire, he was too immersed in his book to acknowledge the gentle padding descending the girls' staircase. He did, however, notice when a petite redhead settled in beside him. He glanced over at her, raising an eyebrow skeptically.

"Marlene was imitating Sirius again," Lily offered by means of explanation. "She finds the accent utterly endearing."

"I suppose it could be endearing if practiced by anyone _other_ than Sirius," he agreed. "But with him…" He shuddered, making her laugh.

"The people from Maine can't actually sound like that, can they?" she asked incredulously. "It's just too ridiculous!"

"Remus has assured me that it wasn't quite so exaggerated," he reasoned.

"I mean, really. Why'd he pick it up in the first place?"  
"Apparently, and I'm just going on hearsay here, he thinks it's "wicked awesome." I must admit, at first it was rather entertaining, but now it's just irritating as hell."

"Ayuh, I'm with you there!" she replied wholeheartedly, then pulled a face. "Oh, Merlin, now I'm talking like him."

"The accent is contagious! It's heeya, it's theyah, everywheyah!" Lily giggled. "Soon we'll be eatin' some wicked delish lobstah and askin' where we pahked the cah!"

When her bout of giggles subsided, she said, "Remind me to never let him go to California. I wouldn't be able to stand valley-girl Sirius." James chuckled. The pair sat in comfortable silence for a spell, before he broke it.

"You know, Lily, all about Sirius aside, I really like this friend thing we have going."

"I do, too. Except now I have to find other ways to get exercise around this place, since stomping off angrily after a row is no longer applicable."

"I'm sure we can think of something," James said with a laugh. He turned his head and his hazel eyes locked with hers, which were more startling emerald than any gem. Their faces inched closer and closer, mutually closing the space in between them, before-

"What I don't understand, Sirius, is why you speak in your regular accent except for those specific words. It makes it all the more unbearable."

"Oh, puhlease, Remus, you know you love it."

The almost-kissing duo on the couch sprang apart, now occupying opposite sides of the sofa. Lily looked like a moose caught in the headlights while James had a happily dazed expression on his face. They sunk lower into the couch in unison, trying not to draw attention to themselves. Sirius and Remus made their way out of the common room, most likely headed to the kitchens for a nightcap, without realizing the presence of James and Lily.

Once the portrait hole was safely shut and James was assured that no one was coming down either staircase, he slid towards Lily's end of the couch and asked, "Now, where were we?" Lily offered a sly grin in response and brought her lips to his.

Finally.

_

* * *

A/N:_ _Remember in grade school when you'd bring in cookies and juice for everyone on your birthday, to share the celebration? Well, here are your cookies and juice, accompanied by my homage to the WONDERFUL folk Down East, my Mainahs. Drop me a line letting me know what you think! Did you like it? Did you hate it? Were you blown away by the lovely Maine accents? Tell me! It'll be one of the best presents I'll receive!_

_Much love, Sadie_

_(Two days late because I'm an ass who loads the document and forgets to publish it... sorry!)_


End file.
